Gah,

I don’t have patience to write in here. 3 more hours and dinner!

Mohsen just proposed that we should go to a party and make out with random strangers. le sigh… My complicated boyfriend.

I promise, I promise that after I finish writing this, I will go and finish writing that essay.

Life without him is a bit tuff, it’s a bit stuffy, it’s a bit dull. It’s almost unbearable. Life without those fuzzy Patches of happiness, those roller coaster ups and downs, those kisses and wiggles (correct that, those wobbles), and those late night discussions. I miss him.

Mika makes me happy. He’s pop, he’s jumpy, and bumpy.

Work is getting there, it’s getting fun. After these essays, I’d be free to work on the design.

I miss him. : |

A part of me doesn’t feel like writing here anymore, as simple as that. It feels like my life has now been exposed to everyone, work introduced this problem and fixing it seems impossible.

I don’t know how to react to him anymore. Everything is impulsive, every decision is so momentary. A part of me wants to forget everything, forget him too. Peace, calm, clarity.

I cry so the pain would stop, so I would stop loving him, so I would forget every moment that we’ve spent with each other, so that I can move on, so that I would be happy again.

The moments we spent caring for each other, the laughter we shared. I wish they could be forgotten.

Good night.

I don’t like school.

I’m taking this little solace for myself. Calm again.

I haven’t had that much time to reflect.

To some extend, camping should have been healthy but I chose to study instead.

Our relationship made me feel tired and worn.

lin.

It’s finally over.

The sense of sadness shaken with relief, regret, and unconcern over powers me.

lin.

Relationships shouldn’t be this difficult. It’s not a life/death situation. And communication shouldn’t be a problem.

But it is because he doesn’t take this seriously. He doesn’t take us seriously.

lin.

This blog has been largely neglected.

Work has been anything but reflective. Since I’ve started on the project, only within the last couple of days, I’ve been able to think on what my actions mean and implies.

The stress and the level of emotional discomfort the first week I came on, was overwhelming… To the level that I cried twice at work. My performance has been anything but smooth, rough edges, like a blade that can never be sharpened.

Let’s hope that the calm that has been-semi established lasts for this week, and for awhile… much longer.

Consulting is definitely tougher on so many different levels.